The Pat Robertson quotes linked below is just one section of the Christ’s Love Christian Parody site. Sometimes funny, often vulgar – you don’t have to be Ned Flanders to find something offensive in here.

After one hears the inspiring words of Pat Robertson, you just might agree with this guy when he says, “I don’t know about you, but I’ve started carrying stones in my briefcase. Not only does it build my trapezius and deltoid muscles; I’m always prepared when I meet UFO enthusiasts. "

Back when I was just small, I often had to mow the lawn using one of those old reel push mowers. The grass was thick, the blades were dull, and I wished we had a riding mower. I’m glad my parents didn’t know about this: a kit that attaches a reel mower to your bicycle.

I saw on The Weather Channel that the northern states saw temperatures fall about 70 degrees overnight. You folks up there might scratch up your car, floors, walls, what-have-you, in your haste to bring the skis back out. To prevent such a disaster, you may want to consider using the Ski Condom.

I’m not registered Republican, but I cast my vote for McCain yesterday. As usual, I was the youngest person at the polling place by about 40 years. Now that the primaries are effectively over, all the candidates have the next 8 months to woo over the ever-important Eric vote.

To help liven their paper on Multiple Regression, a team of New Mexico State psychology graduate students enlisted the aid of Ren & Stimpy. From A Curmudgeon Teaches Statistics.

I knew blogging would pay off some day. After finding the Athens Marigold Mallet Society (posted yesterday) posted by Chip Woods (brain-father to the Year 2000 Project family of weblogs), I marched on over and played a raucus game of croquet, my first in over two years. Finally, I met Chip, and he’s as nice a guy as his weblog suggests. His blogged technological exploits always interest me, but his degree of wiredness was a sight to behold:

Chip (talking on cell phone): “Oh, hey, I gotta go "
Us: “No, it’s not your turn yet. "
Chip: “Huh? What? No! I’ve got a call on the other line. "

Tim O’Reilly’s conversation with Jeff Bezos reinforces my opinion that Amazon is not evil because of their application for and defense of certain patents. While I may not have done what they did, they are fighting off larger competitors using the tools our economic system has given them. They haven’t used strong-arm tactics against the little guy and they have a case for protecting true innovations. I’m sticking by them. Besides, I dislike Barnes & Noble for anchoring a new stripmall here in Athens with the most meager B&N; store you’ve ever seen and for my rough experience at their on-line store.

Ohmygoodness. There’s a croquet group in town, the Marigold Mallet Society. They have a game tonight. I’m so there.

Barns painted red reminds me of a (bad) joke I used to tell when I was young and obnoxious.

Why are fire engines painted red? Because 2 + 2 is 4 and 4 x 3 is 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler. Queen Elizabeth is a ruler. Queen Elizabeth is also a boat. Boats sail on the sea. Fishes swim in the sea. Fishes have fins. The Fins fought the Russians. Russians are also known as reds. Fire engines are always rushin’, and that’s why they’re painted red.

You really didn’t want to know me in junior high.