I got my tax refund back yesterday. It only took 18 days, which I think is a speed record for me. It came in a brown envelope with a hole cut in it so my mailing address printed right on the check could be clearly seen. The hole was big enough that anyone could see without any doubt that the envelope did indeed contain a check for nearly $900. The back of the envelope had this nifty message: “Thank you for filing your income tax return. Use direct deposit to have your refund deposited directly into your bank account. Just fill out the direct deposit portion on your tax form.” There are so many things wrong with this – True, I’ve already filed my taxes. You’re welcome. But, the envelope was specially designed to hold checks and in fact contains my refund. It’s too late to choose direct deposit, no? And anyway, as you’ve already pointed out way back in sentence one, I’ve already filed my tax forms, so I couldn’t fill out the direct deposit section anyway, even if I wasn’t already holding the check in my hands, right?

Maybe it’s their terribly clever way to confuse would-be mail theives. “Woo hoo! I scored someone’s tax check! I can see it through the hole, clear as day. Wait, what’s this on the back… Choose direct deposit? Huh? Maybe that’s not a $900 check I see in there. I guess it’s just a, um, a receipt. Damn! "

Anyway, now that the money’s safely in my bank account, I can actually order those seeds and start playing in the dirt.

From Backup Brain comes a study on the quantum effects of a can of ravioli, specifically what would happen if the can were shot at relativistic speeds at a large star cruiser. Stand back: “Thermonuclear interactions, such as hydrogen fusion, may take place in the tomato sauce… "

No updates today, as I’m scrubbing floors and walls so I can leave my apartment behind forever…

My college buddy Jason, fellow founder of the NMT Physics Junta, will be on Win Ben Stein’s Money. The taping’s this Thursday, and you are encouraged to [send him trivia questions](mailto:jstiffler@benson.mckenna.edu?Subject=Take his money!!!) to hone his skills.

Why call your psychic friends for a tarot reading at $2.99 a minute when Steve Jackson has The Silicon Valley Tarot online for free?

“Drop me in France with a toothbrush and a twenty. " I wish I could consistently write like Randy.

Zim’s Crack Creme is not at all a smooth dairy dessert made from crystalized coca extract, but rather a medicated skin salve. When watching the TV commercial half asleep at 1 in the morning, however, I wasn’t so sure.

Someone recently said my weblog was heavy into cows. I don’t recall mentioning cows more than anything else I write about, but when Memepool posted this link about mad cows, I had to pass it along here.

A vote for Brak is a vote for beans every day. Good gassy gobbledy-good beans, toodley-doo!

I’ve added a map to my house. It’s permanent home is on the About Me page.