The wall clock in the room I’m in made an odd noise. Kind of a “Blrnt!” Then the minute hand started racing to keep up with the second hand. Round and around they went. The hour hand, being short and a little fat, couldn’t quite match the other two, but it tried its best. After a few minutes, the clock went “Blrnt!” again and the race was over. I don’t know who won, but it’s trying to convince me six hours have gone by.

I’m on my way to Missouri. Updates will be intermittent until I return on Tuesday. Right now, I’m sitting in a Holiday Inn in Clarksville, Tennessee. I’m spending two days with a client, building something for the very first time. There’s something mighty satisfying about that – coming into a strange place with people I’ve never met, agree with everyone that what they want is basically impossible, and then make it happen anyway. In four hours today (with plenty of help from the home office), I managed to get to where I wanted to be mid-day tomorrow.

There’s a reunion of the 101st Airborne in town. I think I saw that their motto was “The Last Ones Left Standing”. Something like that. I’d look them up on the web, but my modem connection in the room is very tenuous. The place is swarming with WWII and maybe Korea-era vets and spouses. Lots of tattoos, lots of stories, and already plenty of tears.

Want a cheap way to get across country, but don’t feel like hitchhiking? How about driving someone else’s car from point A to point B for them? There’s a whole industry in auto moving, and like courier companies, they need travellers. AutoDriveaway seems to be the largest company, with offices all over the country. Popular routes are coast-to-coast and north-south. You pay gas and agree to a route and schedule (a pretty lax schedule, too – only about 400 miles a day), and they give you the car. Sounds OK with me. Of course, it’s only one way, but with some arranging, you might be able to find someone else’s car to drive home.

_Don’t seem funny, and it don’t seem right,
sittin’ on my bed on a Friday night.
It seems the wheatie back penny ought to call you more than that.
Everything’s fine and I can’t complain
except my legs feel funny and I got this pain
like a wheatie back penny stuck inside my brain again…
_
Words of wisdom from The Ant Farmers. I understand there’s a new album out – maybe with the magic of the internet, I can get a copy way out here in Athens. More Ant Farmers links: a review of their last album, Beautician. I got the very first CD from the very first box opened at their CD release party. Also, a review of a show I attended back in 1997. I can vouch for the zanyness of the drunk dancin’ fellow. Finally, though this has nothing to do with the band The Ant Farmers, a history of the Cadillac Ranch outside of Amarillo, Texas. The Cadillac Ranch is a number of cadillacs buried nose-first in the ground. Pretty neat to see, really. It was conceived by members of the San Francisco art collective The Ant Farm.

This week, I’m going to drive to Missouri to marry my sister!

I love telling people that. They blink once or twice, look at me, and say “Missouri, huh? I wonderered if that was legal anywhere.” Actually, I’m going to use my ministerial forces to marry my sister to her boyfriend. It’ll be mighty nice. Ministerial. Is that a word? Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve made up words here, I guess. When Blogger gets a spellchecker going, my posts just won’t be the same…

I’ve got a Town & Gown board meeting tonight. It’s nearly election time, and I’m the one in charge of elections. Consequently, I’m giving a presentation to everyone on election procedures. Not being one for normal presentations (the last two I did were given in the forms of a Bob Dylan tune and a series of limerricks), I used the link to the official Chick Tract site provided today by Mike Gunderloy’s LarkFarm weblog to work. After some time at Kinko’s, I’m ready for the meeting.

This weekend I hung a hammock between two perfectly placed trees in my side yard. This hammock was a gift from my cast & crew of Waiting for Godot (thank you all!), and I put it to good use by reading all of Ursula Le Guin’s Left Hand of Darkness. It was the first time in a long while that I devoted the time to reading a book from cover to cover in practically one sitting, and this book was worth the time. Le Guin knows how to write a compelling story.

Eat Yer’ Face is cannibal fun for everyone. The $19.95 Eat Yer Face Gelatin Mold Kit allows you to make an exact copy of your face (or other body part) cast in delicious gelatin. Or maybe you’re more in the market for Chocolate Perfume -- the only perfume that makes you smell good enough to eat.

Appendectomy, schmappendectomy! I gotta get to the prom!

If spoofs on Star Trek is your cup of tea, head right on over to SAPRINGER CENTRAL for gems such as SeinTrek (“Four”: Lt. Kramer talks Ensign Costanza into a golf game on the holodeck; meanwhile, 2 out of 3 loses another boyfriend on a landing party.), The Treksons ("Roray riz a rood ray to rie! " – Rorf), and Stone Trek (complete with a wonderful Quicktime opening sequence). Some have pictures, some have sounds, some have only quotes, but most are good for a laugh.