A while ago, I called my parents to say hi, I love ’em, and that other stuff. They weren’t there, but I got their answering machine: “Hi. We can’t come to the phone right now because we’re out spending our children’s inheritance. Leave a message and we’ll return your call. " A bit flustered, I left a message. I’ve just sent Guido back to Missouri to take care of things because, hey, I’m entitled to the three dollars I’ve got coming to me.